Jon Stewart vs Twitter


Twitter is the
Best for me
I get my news
One two three.

I don’t have to wait
For evenings at seven
Or six or ten
Or, God forbid, eleven.

I pick up my iPhone
It’s simple you see
No straining with newsprint
No waste, no fees.

No cost whatsoever
To get my news fast
Why wait for a reporter
To send out a blast.

I want to know now.
No patience have I
To read lengthy stories
To strain my old eyes.

I pick up my phone
I click on my app
Getting my headlines
Is really a snap.

I get quite enough
Of news that I need
I don’t have to wade through
Dribble you see.

I don’t want opinion
Or spin on a story
Give me the facts
Not allegory.

I’ll take my news
Dumbed down with ease
I just want your tweet
140 words please.

After the day’s done
I’m caught up on news
I’ll search my recordings
Jon Stewart I’ll choose.

To give me the lowdown
On politics and prose
His wit and his wisdom
His genius, who knows?

He’s right on the mark
He cuts through the chase
Ok, I’ll admit it
He has a cute face.

He wrinkles and scrunches
His cute little nose
But wisdom comes through
Clear down to his toes.

Twitter by day
Is as good as it gets
For full coverage the Daily Show
Is truly the best.

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