Tag Archives: poem

How to Get Published

If you were an actor
A star on TV
Or movies or films
Or videos you see.

Your words would be quoted
Your photos displayed
Your scent set in perfume
They’d publish your play.

They’d market your book
Your poems and your thoughts
If your name was famous
Your work would be bought.

Just say you’re a Kardashian
Or Hilton already
Or Clinton or Streisand
Or even a Getty.

Your words would get noticed
You’d sure get a bump.
If you were a Seinfeld,
A Bloomberg or Trump.

Or Rowling or Baldwin,
Obama or Carter
A Kennedy, a Kotb
Or famous globe trotter.

It’s not all about
The writing you do
It’s just who you are
The name you’re born to.

Still, never give up
Write every day
When you become famous
They’ll hear what you say.

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How are You Doing?

How are you doing?
Say I’m just fine
That’s what we tell them
All the time.

That is the answer
They want to hear
Not the state of your diet
Or the pain in your rear.

Don’t tell of food plans
Or losing five pounds
Or fights with the boyfriend
Or errands around town.

Forget the new hairdo
Or trips to the doc
Tell them you’re all right
Leave out the schlock.

Everyone’s got issues
Some have the flu
If you sneeze hope for tissues
And a heartfelt Bless You.

Jon Stewart vs Twitter

Twitter is the
Best for me
I get my news
One two three.

I don’t have to wait
For evenings at seven
Or six or ten
Or, God forbid, eleven.

I pick up my iPhone
It’s simple you see
No straining with newsprint
No waste, no fees.

No cost whatsoever
To get my news fast
Why wait for a reporter
To send out a blast.

I want to know now.
No patience have I
To read lengthy stories
To strain my old eyes.

I pick up my phone
I click on my app
Getting my headlines
Is really a snap.

I get quite enough
Of news that I need
I don’t have to wade through
Dribble you see.

I don’t want opinion
Or spin on a story
Give me the facts
Not allegory.

I’ll take my news
Dumbed down with ease
I just want your tweet
140 words please.

After the day’s done
I’m caught up on news
I’ll search my recordings
Jon Stewart I’ll choose.

To give me the lowdown
On politics and prose
His wit and his wisdom
His genius, who knows?

He’s right on the mark
He cuts through the chase
Ok, I’ll admit it
He has a cute face.

He wrinkles and scrunches
His cute little nose
But wisdom comes through
Clear down to his toes.

Twitter by day
Is as good as it gets
For full coverage the Daily Show
Is truly the best.

My Three Minute Meditation

My three minute meditation

I’m sitting
I’m waiting
For my stress to flee
Leaving my body
Like leaves from a tree.

Just three little minutes
That’s all that it takes
For stress to take flight
And leave me…
I’ll wait.

The three little minutes
He said it will work
To lower my blood pressure
I feel like a jerk.

Just three little minutes
Are driving me crazy
I could have washed dishes
Instead I feel lazy.

Just three little minutes
That’s way way too long
When one bar of chocolate
Would make me so strong.

Just three little minutes
Thank God they are done
Forget about stress relief methods
I’m going out for some fun!